Gramado/ Canela

Two weekends ago I attempted to buy tickets to get away from the hustle and bustle of Florianópolis. Unfortunately I assumed that I could arrive at the bus station a few hours before the bus left and I would be OK, however I didn't factor in that it was an election weekend and a majority of the population had to returned to their hometowns to vote. All the tickets were sold out and I had to wait until the next weekend.
This time I went a day early and bought my ticket. As soon as I got home after purchasing my ticket I discovered there would be numerous activities around Floripa that I had unknowingly excluded myself from, by my excursion. Anywho, I was dying to get out of town, not having had left since I went to Foz de Iguaçu. As I was walking to the bus station I was listening to a new podcast I hadn't heard before called, "How Stuff Works". The program deals with a variety of topics, however this particular topic was about cannibals. They introduced the topic of cannibalism with the referral to the ghastly murder on a greyhound bus in Manitoba Canada which occurred a few months back. Needless to say not the ideal material to be listening to before an 10-hour overnight bus ride. I suffered and fought for arm space throughout the night with the obnoxious passenger who sat to my left. Thankfully the next day I arrived in Gramado, Rio Grande do Sul with no apparent traces of rider inflicted cannibalism.
Gramado/ Canela are two tourist towns which have used their alpine styled architecture, frigid temperatures, and Gaúcho traditions to turn themselves into one of Rio Grande do Sul and Brazil's most popular tourist destinations. For citizens of this mostly sun-scorched country, snow is all but a fantasy so when temperatures dip down and the grass is dusted with flakes the tourists come in droves in anticipation of seeing snow enchanted by the city. In all honesty the city is quite clean, situated on the plateau of a gorgeous mountain range with stunning valleys, quaint villages, and charming vineyards. However I felt the kitschy novelty quickly wore thin.
Saturday was dreary as it rained the entire day. My umbrella was abysmal as a crucial piece was missing and the top would unlatch and or not open. My shoes and socks got soaked. I walked miles in the rain exploring the two cities and taking a mini-bus tour.
The tour was shortened as the only guests were myself and a elderly lady from São Paulo. The guide stopped at the various post card images, gave quick explanations and continued on. The banter between the two of them was as if it were scripted by the city itself. "Here in Gramado, we are a small city of 50,000 habitants. We have a high standard of living. We aren't plagued by the violence or pollution that affects so many of Brazil's larger cities. Everyone here has a job and everyone is happy. Here is our free health post. Here is one of our more impoverished neighborhoods, which is completely supplied with plumbing, pavement and other basic amenities. Here is our public bathroom, which is kept impeccably clean by the citizens of Gramado. Here is a spa where the actresses from the soap operas come to get their botox. Here is the biggest house in Gramado. etc." At every stop the little old lady cooed with delight about the picturesque houses and whimsical streets. The bathroom is the pride and joy of the city due to it's cleanliness, the cars give pedestrians the right of way, and all restaurants feature fondue. That night I went out to a bar/club with some lawyers from the Northeast of Brazil who have been working in Porto Allegre, the capital of Rio Grande do Sul. We played bowling, or Boliche. I played alright but I still can't seem to wrap my head around the notion that all the pins here dangle in the air by a mystery chord as if they were holstered by a puppeteer. The night was capped off by me falling asleep on the shoulders of my new found friends.
The next day I woke up and signed myself up for a tour. I thought that I was getting a tour of the massive, breathtaking canyons, however I was misinformed and the only tour left was of Museums and a Cable Car tour of the Caracol waterfall. I cut my losses and signed up. I walked around the town and ran into a Portuguese girl who had been studying in Rio Grande do Sul and had stayed at my hostel. As we were chatting and I was difficultly deciphering her peculiar Portuguese accent a ludicrous man dressed in Gaúcho costume began picking up trash in the park in front of the café at which we sat. He loudly talked to himself and started up conversations with all the naive passerbys. His colorful comments overheard from our table ranged from " Good Morning? Your mouth doesn't work? Bitch!" to more cleverly phrased one liners such as " I'm not ignorant because I was born this way, Its more fun to be stupid." He was old and grizzled but surprisingly was quite gentle and decent with the Portuguese and myself. I became worried at one point when the Gaúcho asked, "Can I ask you an indecent question?" She didn't see any reason as to why not to allow this and he surprisingly only inquired to as what her age was. He had a thick Gaúcho accent which derives from the cattle drivers from the North of Argentina to the South of Brazil. Anyways he gave me a rock and suggested that I take my new found friend to a hotel room. I walked the Portuguese to the bus station and she got my information in case she comes to Floripa.
That afternoon I took my tour. I quickly realized I had been suckered into a tour that eerily reminded me of excursions from my childhood with my grandparents and siblings. However the events of the day paled in comparison to such family revelries such as the Baltimore Industrial museum amongst other oddities. I made friends with the members of the group who happened to be tourists such as myself from a variety of other cities and states. The most memorable of the group were a group of two women from Salvador, Bahia. The people from this state are known for their excessive laziness. They certainly didn't help their cause by showing up 5-15 minutes late for every scheduled departure. The highlight of the day of tours was the cable car which ascendant to a magnificent miranda overlooking the Caracol waterfall and surrounding mountains and valleys. The low point of the day was a miniature mechanical device museum.
I said goodbye to Gramado/ Canela and arrived in Floripa at day break. I took a power nap before work and when I woke up I was surprised that my computer and ipod were an hour ahead of my alarm clock. I rushed out the door to work only to greet my co-worker who was the only other gringo in town who had made the same mistake I had. The first and last time I'll ever be early to work again.